GW Soap!
by Katana Rey
Summary: What happens when a GW pilot gets addicted to daytime soaps? Warning, Yaoi-flavoured. Part II has cross-dressing, Part III has cameos from other animes.
1. Default Chapter

OOC, AU  
  
Part I.  
  
'Heero! Have you seen Duo?'  
  
'Huh.' Came the soft grunt from the boy sitting at the table, not even bothering to look up from his laptop as he busily scanned the glowing monitor.   
  
Quatre sighed and went to look for the braided pilot on his own. He had been waiting for Duo to return from his last mission for over an hour and he was beginning to get a little worried. What could be keeping him? He worried, gnawing on his lower lip anxiously as he went from dorm room to dorm room, trying to catch a glimpse of a thick brown braid. At last he came to the rec room and brightened up when he saw the untidily sprawled figure in front of the television.   
  
'Duo. You're back. Why didn't you tell me?' Quatre chirped happily as he slumped next to Duo whose eyes remained glued on the screen.   
  
'Later Q. Don't disturb me right now. Wait till the commercial break.' Duo stared intently on the screen as a blond woman started screeching at a tall handsome man, chewing absently on the end of his braid.  
  
Quatre blinked, puzzled by his friend's behaviour as he looked between the television and the hypnotized pilot in confusion.   
  
'Uh. Sure. Commercial break. I'll wait.' The blond muttered disconsolately, blushing furiously as the American gave him a withering glare before turning back to his obsessive contemplation of the noisy couple on screen. As he waited patiently for the commercial break, Quatre found himself also being drawn to the screen as well, in fascinated horror, until he resolutely tore his eyes away from the pathologically dysfunctional relational behaviour on display and ran.  
  
Duo turned away from the screen as a commercial flashed on and stretched luxuriously, then remembering the annoying interruption he started to look for Quatre but found the room empty save for a few fellow daytime soap addicts lounging nearby. He shrugged carelessly and turned back to the screen, confident that if it had been important, Quatre would contact him later.  
  
*****  
  
'Heero! Heero!'  
  
The dark haired boy looked up from his typing with a startled expression as a blond whirlwind burst into his room.   
  
'Heero! You've got to do something! This is terrible. Duo's in trouble.'  
  
Heero jumped to his feet, a look of concern flashing briefly on his face. Then as Quatre smashed into him and clutched at his shoulders, he was thrown off his feet and staggered back onto his bed with an agitated blond clutching desperately to his arms.  
  
Quatre started to shake the stoic Japanese as he began talking. 'It's Duo. He's totally addicted to television. He didn't even bother to report in after his last mission. Heero do something. Make him stop. Heero!'   
  
Heero glared crossly at the distraught blond as he squirmed in his grip. Till now he had been reasonably confident that he could rely on Quatre, though the guy had a tendency to get all emotional every now and then, but this display was definitely making him rethink his original evaluation. 'Quartre. Let... me... go. Now.' He snapped coldly as the blond showed no sign of relinquishing his hold, or moving from his awkward position on his lap.   
  
Quatre blinked at the icy tones and started to blush as he realized that he was practically sitting on Heero. Sheepishly he got off the annoyed Japanese and muttered an apology as he backed off from the fierce glare.   
  
Heero stood up and returned to his desk, feeling severely annoyed by the ridiculous intrusion. He resumed typing, deliberately ignoring the embarrassed boy still standing near him. After a moment, he turned his head and asked pointedly, 'Are you still here?'  
  
Quatre reddened furiously before taking to his heels. 'He'll be sorry he didn't listen to me.' The blond muttered sulkily to himself as he returned to his room. He brightened as he entered his room and saw Trowa reading quietly. 'Wait till you hear what's going on with Duo!'  
  
*****   
  
'Wufei, have you noticed anything strange about Duo lately?'  
  
The beautiful Chinese pilot frowned as he gave careful thought to Sally's question. 'In particular or in general?'  
  
Sally groaned. 'I mean recently. He's been a bit erratic on his missions, and he's become awfully choosy about the timing too. He's flat out refused to go on any mission during the mid day and he keeps on giving Heero these really funny looks. Haven't you noticed?'  
  
Wufei shrugged, 'not really... no.' He wrinkled his brow as he tried to remember if he had noticed any irregularities in the volatile pilot's behaviour, then gave up as he decided that everything about the noisy pilot was out of the ordinary. Still, he hesitated, there was that time....   
  
'I did notice that he started referring to Quatre's evil twin every now and then but I just thought it was a joke between them.' He offered tentatively.   
  
Sally rubbed her temple, trying to calm the throbbing ache as she remembered the screaming match that had taken place between Duo and Quatre on their last mission, resulting with Lady Une's firm order to keep them separated in any future missions. Was it just her, she wondered looking at the large black eyes staring at her with concern, or was Wufei very, very slow on the uptake? 'Never mind.' She sighed, with a rueful smile. 'I'm sure it wasn't important.'  
  
*****  
  
'Heero!'  
  
Heero winced as a shrill voice cut through the humming of the crowd. His expression remained blank as a blond girl determined pushed her way through the startled students and stomped her feet at him when she finally reached him.   
  
'Dorothy.' He nodded coolly, wondering why she was glaring at him and wishing that she had chosen a more private place, he hated people gawking at him.   
  
'What the hell do you think you're doing!' She screamed, waving a fist clenching a piece of paper in front of his nose. 'I demand that you answer me, you arrogant pig.'  
  
Heero turned his most piercing glare at the blond harpy, though it didn't seem to affect the enraged girl in the slightest, and spoke in a calm voice, deliberately pitching it low to force her to listen. 'I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what that is. And I would like you to leave. Now.'  
  
Dorothy practically foamed at the mouth as she thrust the piece of paper in her hand at Heero's chest and she snarled, 'Look I don't care what you and your sick friend get up to in your private time.' She continued loudly, totally ignoring the sudden hush that fell in the cafeteria as stunned onlookers listened avidly, and Heero who had stiffened to a stone statue at her words. 'But you better warn your braided paramour that he can't try to blackmail Relena-sama and get away with it. Got that!'  
  
She stalked off in fury, leaving behind Heero who remained frozen, numbly clutching the offending paper in his hands.   
  
'My god. What a horrible woman!' Wufei snorted scornfully as he appeared at Heero side, carrying a generously loaded tray in his hands. 'I don't know what she was babbling on about. Do you have any idea Yuy?' He stared curiously at Heero, noticing with mild interest that the dark haired boy was looking paler than usual, as he slowly opened the crumpled paper in his hand and began reading.   
  
Heero spoke with a deceptively soft voice as he looked up from the paper. 'Where is Duo?'  
  
Wufei looked blank as he shrugged carelessly. 'How do I know where he is? You know that he hasn't been in to lunch at the proper time for ages now. Why don't you ask Quatre? They've been talking a lot lately.'  
  
Heero ground his teeth as he glared at the indifferent Chinese. 'They haven't been talking. They've been screaming at each other. How could you possibly have missed all the shouting that went on during the last mission?'   
  
Wufei shrugged again as he sat down the heavy tray and pulled out his seat. 'But Maxwell's always screaming. I didn't think that it was anything special. You haven't finished your lunch, why don't you just sit down and forget about that stupid woman.' He added comfortingly as he patted the vacated chair next to him.  
  
Heero flashed a nasty look at Wufei before dumping the contents of his remaining lunch in the nearby wastebin. 'I lost my appetite.' He snapped crossly as he stomped out of the cafetaria, trying to ignore the whispers and glances directed at him from the other diners.   
  
'When I get my hands on that idiot, that braided dummy masquerading as a pilot, I'll make him eat this,' Heero muttered under his breath as he crunched the paper in his hand, 'then I'll make him really sorry.'   
  
*****  
  
'Quatre, you are not being reasonable.'  
  
Trowa sighed deeply as he waited for a response from the implacable black Gundam. 'Quatre, please come out. We can talk about this. Quatre, I'm not going to wait out here forever. Quatre...' He coughed roughly, not accustomed to talking so loudly. Damn. He backed off hurriedly as Sandrock started to hum and started to shout frantically. 'Quatre, no! Please! You don't have to do this. Don't attack Duo. Please! Quatre!' Trowa screamed at last, futilely as the large Gundam started to stride away.   
  
With a despairing look he turned and ran towards his own Gundam standing nearby. He hoped that he could stop Quatre before the enraged blond went too far. He swore softly when he noticed that Gundam Shenlong and Wing Zero were also missing from the hanger. Of all the times for Wufei and Heero to be on a mission... the tall pilot felt an urge to scream out his frustration as he swung himself into the cockpit. It looked like he was going to have to do this on his own.  
  
*****  
  
'Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! That hurts! Owww! Ouch. Hey, be careful, that's a sensitive area, hey! Owwwwww!'  
  
Heero tightened his lips grimly as he continued to approach the noisy sickbay. He had been dragged off to see Lady Une on his return from the last mission and given a thorough scolding about his lack of discretion and his promiscuous behaviour, then warned that his amorous liaisons... he ground his teeth as he muttered the words under his breath... would no longer be allowed to disrupt the Preventer activities. Then, he had to stomach being given a lecture on safe sex practice!   
  
Heero unconsciously flexed his fingers, as he remembered the way Sally Po waylaid him outside Une's office, and the little sample that she insisted he take. Heero had dropped the sample into the nearest bin as soon as Sally was out of sight. He wiped his hands on his jeans once again at the thought of the slippery little plastic packet, and swore to himself that someone was going to pay. And pay dearly. After that lovely encounter, he had been called to answer two phone calls. The first from a hysterical Relena who wept loudly as she blubbered on about being forced to give him up to save her honour, then another from Hilde who had abused him thoroughly before telling him to treat Duo kindly. To top it all off, he had to endure yet another ridiculous interview, this time with Zechs, that windbag, Heero thought spitefully, who had insisted on warning him about the legal ramifications of slander and blackmail.   
  
Heero paused and took a deep breath before entering the sickbay. The one thing that the pilot of Wing Zero was certain about was that the cause of all his problems was a certain pilot of Shinigami. And as soon as he finished telling the idiot what he thought of him, he was going to take that annoying long chestnut braid and wrap it around the even more annoying neck and slowly throttle the idiot until he promised never to bother him again. Heero's satisfied smirk melted away when he reached the open doorway of the sickbay.   
  
He stopped at the doorway, mouth dropping open as he took in the sight of two boys, one blond, the other with a long braid, wearing identical blue striped pajamas, their arms and legs covered in bandages, throwing everything in reach at each other. Then he broke into a cold sweat as the two opponents stopped and stared in his direction. He started to back away slowly only to stop as he walked into another body behind him. He looked back to find Trowa who gave him an unpleasant grin and shoved him back inside, noticing as he stumbled through that Trowa was on clutches.   
  
'This is all your fault Heero.'  
  
Heero blinked in confusion, was it him or did everyone seem to say that to him recently? He stared blankly as Trowa pointed one of his clutches at him accusingly.   
  
'If you hadn't been cheating on Duo, none of this would have happened.'  
  
Heero felt like screaming in frustration. What were they all talking about?   
  
'Trowa, how many time do I have to tell you? I'm not having an affair with Heero.'  
  
Heero turned to the fuming blond in silent gratitude, so he wasn't the only sane person.   
  
'I can't help it if he's interested in me.'  
  
Heero choked as he mentally scratched Quatre's name off the list of sane people. What the hell was going on here?  
  
'That's only because you're throwing yourself at him, you blond floozy!' Duo screeched loudly, as he reached for another object to throw. 'Heero belongs with me, do you hear? We were meant to be together! We have a destiny.'  
  
Heero felt a throbbing ache in his temples as he listened to the meaningless drivel. He turned imploring eyes on Trowa who was still glaring at him accusingly and wondered if he had passed through a temporal anomaly or had been kidnapped to a parallel universe. He started to carefully shuffle his way away from the angry combatants who seemed so intent on continuing their fight that they weren't really paying that much attention to him and measured the distance to the door with his eyes, confident that if worst came to worst, he could simply make a run for it.   
  
'That's not true. Heero and I care about each other. We have special moments, like the time when we were together on the run from Oz. And we have common interests. I'm good for Heero. I can give him love. I understand him. I have a lot of money.' Quatre finished triumphantly, waving his pillow defiantly.   
  
Duo sniffed loudly, 'you also have an evil twin who almost destroyed the Colonies in Wing Zero. You aren't mentally stable. You'd probably end up trying to kill Heero. I'm not going to lose him to you. Not now. Not when I fought so hard for him.'  
  
'The only thing you can offer Heero is sex.' Quatre snarled, as he slid to the edge of his bed. 'I can offer Heero intellectual companionship. I can give him a better life. If you really loved Heero, you'd let him go, for his sake.'  
  
As soon as he heard the word 'sex', Heero shrank back and started to inch towards the door, wondering if it was too late to change his mind about being a test subject for the research into developing invisible force fields.   
  
Duo started to sob loudly into his pillow, alarming Heero who had almost managed to reach the door and bringing a sympathetic Trowa hobbling to his bedside. 'I can offer Heero true love. You only want him for his body.'  
  
Unable to bear listening any further Heero promptly fled the insane trio and ran down the corridor, slamming into Wufei as he dashed around the corner.   
  
'Watch where you're going Yuy!' Wufei protested as they collapsed into an ungraceful pile on the floor.   
  
'They're all crazy!' Heero's eyes glittered with excitement and he peeked around the corner and sighed with relief when he saw the closed sickbay door.   
  
'Who?' Wufei asked indifferently as he helped Heero to untangle their limbs and get back on their feet.  
  
'Duo, Quatre. Even Trowa. All of them. Stark raving mad.' Heero shuddered as he thought back to the horrible scene he had witnessed.   
  
Wufei eyed the normally taciturn pilot with interest, noticing the sweat beads on his forehead. Then he leaned towards the perturbed Japanese and blew softly into his ear.   
  
'Why don't you just forget about Maxwell and Winner and spend your time with someone who's more worthy?' He purred creamily, his lips brushing lightly against Heero's hair as he spoke. Then he blinked as the Japanese pilot whitened dramatically and fled. 'Playing hard to get eh.' He smirked as he broke into a jaunty jog, after the desperately fleeing figure.   
  
*****  
  
'So Mr Yuy. What did you say was the cause of your friends acting in an unusual manner?'  
  
The doctor looked at the shaking boy lying on his couch, an ice bag sitting on his head, with sympathy and concern. It was a pity that someone so young and so beautiful suffered from delusional paranoia. Still, he was going to do all he could to help the young pilot recover his sense of perspective and reality.   
  
'Well doc,' Heero sighed deeply, 'it all began when one of my fellow pilots started watching daytime soaps....'  
  
Tbc...  
  



	2. Part II

Warning: This part has cross-dressing!  
  
Part II.  
  
'Like the sands through the hourglass, so too go the days of our lives...'  
  
Thump. Crash.  
  
'That's the third television this week Yuy! It's coming out of your paycheck!'  
  
Slam.   
  
Heero groaned as he rubbed the temples of his forehead. He was really beginning to hate being stuck in the dorms during the holidays. Maybe he should have taken Duo's offer of a weekend of skiing, then shuddered, as he remembered the hideous scene that had resulted afterwards when Quatre turned up with a counter offer of a week in Bahamas. He hadn't actually been given the chance to choose between the two options, since the two became immediately embroiled in a screaming match, concluding only when a very, very irritated Sally Po had shoved both Quatre and Duo out of the Preventer Headquarters.   
  
There wasn't anything to do around the dorms during the holidays, he couldn't even go classes and he had already finished all his holiday assignments. To be honest, Heero Yuy, pilot of Gundam Wing Zero and all around perfect terrorist and soldier, was bored. Bored, bored, bored! No enemies to fight, and even though he had returned from his medical leave with a clean bill of health, he hadn't been assigned to any new missions yet. Heero glared at the smashed television and swore that no matter how bored he got, that he would never resort to watching the garbage that had been the root of all his troubles last time. He thought about surfing the net but then remembered that Sally had revoked his license when she had gotten the bill from their server for last month. What to do, what to do... Heero sighed and wriggled uncomfortably on the slouching armchair.   
  
*****  
  
'Now then Mr Maxwell, you say that you're having problems in your relationship?'  
  
'Yeah. I know that he loves me but he keeps on denying that he feels anything.' Duo sobbed into his phone.   
  
'Ahhh... did you say he?'  
  
'Yeah. You have a problem with that?' Duo's voice suddenly turned very hostile.  
  
'No. No. Not at all. Why don't you keep talking?'  
  
'Okay. Well, it's like this. My ah friend, let's call him number one. Number one and I met a few years ago on a boat.'  
  
'Oh. That sounds nice. So what happened then?'  
  
'Well.' Duo shyly twisted his finger around the phone cord as his eyes misted over, his voice softening as the fond memories surfaced. 'I shot him. And then I broke him out of the hospital where he was being held. It was destiny really. Um...' He frowned briefly, disturbed by the choking noises on his phone. 'Are you all right miss?'  
  
'Yes.' Wheezed the voice on the other end, sounding very strained. 'Do go on.'  
  
'I knew that he was my perfect match. We did everything together, we blew up bases, killed enemy troops and oops! Forget the last thing that I said, that's actually a secret.' Duo giggled in embarrassment as he realised that he had almost broken the code of secrecy restricting Preventer agents from disclosing details of their activities, past and present.   
  
'Secret. Got it. Well, why don't you tell me when you first realized that you and this Number one belonged together?'  
  
'Well.' Duo blushed deeply, even though he knew that the person on the other side couldn't see him. 'It was really when I started watching these really cool television shows. They showed me that when Hee.... I mean, Number one ignored me that he was really just shy and that since we shared so many special moments that we really should be together.'  
  
'Television shows?' Came a very doubting voice. 'Okay. Um... so what seems to be problem?'  
  
'Basically, Hee... I mean Number one is in total denial of his feelings. Also, there's this conniving blond who's trying to break us up. I know that Hee... Number one really loves me but,' Duo started to sob into the mouthpiece, 'sometimes it's just so hard to keep believing in our love. I know that you can help me Deirdre, I know that you've been a wonderful psychiatrist and if I lived in Salem, I'd have asked for an appointment instead of calling this talkshow. How do you think I can convince He.. Number one to accept our love?'  
  
'Ahhh.... Right. I see. Will you hold on just a minute please?' Replied the voice sweetly. Then as Duo avidly clutched the phone he could hear a thumping in the background and someone screeching that they were going to change agents. After which a deep male voice came back to the phone and whispered a faint apology before the line went dead.   
  
'Well. Really.' Duo glared at the inoffensive phone as he slammed it back down. Then he stomped out of the public phone booth ignoring the nasty glares from the shivering people waiting in line behind him. That's the last time he was going to turn to Dear Deirdre for help, he decided firmly, tossing his heavy braid behind him.   
  
*****  
  
'No.'  
  
'Heero, it's a mission.'  
  
Heero pouted and crossed his arms on his chest defiantly.   
  
'Never.'  
  
'Yuy, this is an order.'  
  
Heero gave Wufei a withering glare before sniffing disdainfully.   
  
'Heero, it's got to be you. Duo and Quatre has been unavailable since they've been diagnosed as soap addicts and Wufei's teaming up with Sally. That means that you have to be my date for the ball. Please Heero. I don't want to go with a guy.'   
  
Trowa begged the stubborn Japanese desperately.  
  
Heero glared at the pleading pilot with real annoyance and demanded petulantly, 'well why don't you be my date for the ball? You can wear the dress.'  
  
Wufei snickered rudely as Trowa silently pointed to his heavy bang and said, 'but you look much better in a dress than me.'  
  
Heero glowered sullenly as Trowa once more held out the simmering pink gown. 'I don't look good in pink.' He snapped out at last.   
  
Trowa beamed widely and dropped the foamy mess in Heero's reluctant arms. 'That's okay. We've got a few more dresses for you to look at before you make your final choice.' He grabbed Heero's hand and started dragging the unhappy pilot behind him.   
  
Wufei smirked to himself and dashed over to the phone. He couldn't wait to hear Quatre and Duo's reactions when they heard that Heero Yuy was going to the Oz ball, dressed as a girl, no less.   
  
*****  
  
Later that evening...   
  
Heero blinked, dazed by the flashes that surrounded him. He looked mutely at the reporters who shoved each other viciously to try to get a good picture as he slowly descended the spiral stairs in his shimmering white gown. He paused hesitantly at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Trowa who had to jostle through a lot of uncooperative men to finally reach his side, and held out a hand, clad in a dainty lace glove.   
  
Trowa beamed proudly as he led the exquisite beauty to the ballroom, almost bursting with glee as he saw the envious looks on the onlooking men's faces. He patted the small hand resting on his sleeve in a smug proprietary gesture, admiring the slender white neck that rose from the filmy shroud, and bedazzled by the large blue eyes that smouldered underneath the thick dark curls that fell entrancingly around the elfin face. Heero smiled, his soft red lips parting slightly as he leaned towards Trowa and whispered softly, 'get your paw off my hand or I'll gut you.'   
  
'What a handsome couple.'  
  
'She's so gorgeous. I love her hair, so wild and exciting, don't you think?'  
  
'Where did she get that dress?'  
  
Large green eyes peered out from behind the heavy burgundy drapes surrounding the ballroom, staring anxiously after the glamorous couple as they started dancing. 'Heero.' He sighed melancholicly. Then, 'Trowa', he breathed sadly. 'Betrayed,' he whispered to himself, 'by two that I loved most.' Unnoticed, by the other side of the drapes, a pair of violet eye also peered out, his attention glued to the dancing pair. 'That rotten, treacherous Trowa,' Duo gnawed on the edge of the drape nervously as he looked at the two, 'I knew he couldn't be trusted. That's my Heero he's dancing with.'  
  
Heero smiled sweetly into Trowa's eyes, thinking that he was going to kick the tall pilot if his hand dipped any lower on his back. Trowa smiled back at Heero, thinking what a beautiful girl he made. He stumbled slightly, wincing painfully as Heero gave him a sudden kick in the heels. He blinked and adjusted his hands a little. What a temper she has, he thought fondly, already forgetting that the girl in his arms was really one of his fellow pilots.   
  
Wufei looked at the beauty in Trowa's arms with dark curls and shook his head. 'That's Heero.' He reminded himself, gulping the drink that Sally had gotten him. 'He's a guy.' He muttered to himself, oblivious to the eager glances that Sally was throwing towards the dance floor.   
  
Duo reached out adroitly and snagged a drink off the passing tray, to drown his sorrows as he retired behind the alcove. He started as he realized that he wasn't alone, then as he began stammering his apologies, his eyes adapted to the darker room and he glared suspiciously at the moping blond. 'What are you doing here?'  
  
'Me!' Quatre squealed in outrage as he glared back at the American. 'What are you doing here! You could jeopardize Heero's mission! Worse, his life could be in danger if he's discovered because of you.'  
  
'Me!' Duo snarled back, unconsciously echoing Quatre. 'What about you! Why are you here? Who told you about this anyway...' He broke off as both pilots came to the same conclusion, 'Wufei.' They muttered in unison. 'Look, I'm not going to do anything. I'm just here in case Heero needs backup that's all. And also to keep an eye on Trowa. That Casanova.' Duo snapped as he returned to his original position, peeking out from the side of the drape.  
  
'Well. So am I.' Quatre retorted defiantly as he too returned to his position, drooping noticeably as he saw that Heero was still dancing in Trowa's arms.   
  
Heero bared his teeth prettily, giving Trowa a seductive look from under his long dark lashes, as he leaned closer and murmured, 'exactly how long do we have to keep dancing Trowa? My feet are beginning to hurt in these stupid shoes.'  
  
Trowa sighed happily, 'Forever.' Then hastily added an amendment as Heero gave him another little kick to the heels. 'I mean, till supper, then I'll point out the target and you can seduce him.' That is, he corrected, wincing painfully as he received yet another kick, 'you can lure him into the garden and Wufei and I will take over and,'  
  
'And' Heero added with a gleeful gleam in his eyes, 'then we can kill him.'  
  
'Ah no.' Trowa replied, sorry to deprive his darling of the light that had sparked in his eyes, 'Actually, Wufei and I will be abducting him. Then while you and Sally provide us with a distraction, we'll leave the ball and you ladies,' he winced again, 'lady and gentleman can come home. Okay?' Trowa began to wonder if he would be able to walk properly after his dance with Heero.   
  
Heero pouted adorably and Trowa completely forgot the throbbing ache in his ankle. 'Are you sure that I can't kill him? I want somebody to die for tonight.' Trowa smiled blissfully and nodded absently, his mind on the enchanting way one of the dark curls danced and bobbed near Heero's ears as they danced.   
  
Duo bit his hand as he saw Trowa and Heero dance past him, their eyes locked together. He wished that he had never listened to Wufei.   
  
Quatre narrowed his eyes, ignoring breathless gushing that swept through the nearby crowd whenever the radiant pair swung past. He swore that he would get Heero back if it was the last thing that he did. He blamed Wufei bitterly for not discouraging this dreadful farce that was taking place in front of him.   
  
Wufei bit into the cake that Sally had given him, almost biting his tongue as he gaped at Heero, whose eyes glowed radiantly, admiring the white glint from the slightly bared teeth as he smiled enchantingly at the dazzled Chinese pilot while swirling past in Trowa's arms. He wished that he had been assigned as Heero's partner in Trowa's stead. He was beginning to suspect that the tall pilot had dishonourable intentions towards the dark beauty and ached to defend her honour. Sally stared with irritation at Wufei who continued to chomp his way through the chocolate cake, without even a glance in her direction and sighed disconsolately. She wished that she had listened to Une who had advised her to take Zechs instead.   
  
*****  
  
In the garden...  
  
'Hey, be careful. You almost killed him, Yuy.'  
  
'Yeah? Well. Serves him right, that disgusting pervert. Did you know where he put his hands?'  
  
'What! How dare he! Let me defend your honour. The scoundrel.'  
  
'Wufei! Don't you dare! Put that sword away now.'  
  
'You can't tell me what to do woman.'  
  
'I'm not a woman. I'm your commanding officer. And I'm telling you to put away that sword. Now.'  
  
Wufei obeyed sullenly as he backed away from the unconscious man on the ground. Sally breathed a sigh of relief then turned back to the pilot of Wing Zero who was eyeing the body with a nasty gleam in his eyes.   
  
'Come on Heero. It's time for us to create a diversion so that we can all get out of here.'   
  
Heero picked up the train of his dress and sullenly fell behind Sally, muttering under his breath. Sally at that moment had wisely chosen to become deaf so she didn't hear all the things that he intended to do once they were back at the base.   
  
Wufei stared at the disappearing vision in white and turned to his fellow pilot, and they then silently heaved up the unconscious man between them and started to walk towards their car.   
  
*****  
  
Back in the ballroom...  
  
Duo munched mournfully on the appetiser that he had grabbed off a passing tray, refusing to share the bento that Quatre had thoughtfully prepared himself with. He continued his sullen surveillance, perking up noticeably as he saw that Heero had returned to the ballroom, alone, without Trowa by his side. He scowled as he realized that he hadn't been the only one to observe this lack, and clutched the drape frantically as men started to crowd around Heero.   
  
Quatre sipped his tea calmly, determined that he was not going to allow this single mission to disturb his centre of equilibrium.   
  
'Why that filthy... Get you hands off him you creep!'  
  
Quatre jumped to his feet, alarmed by Duo's snarls and quickly joined him at the drape. A low growl escaped from his throat as he saw Heero being grabbed around the waist by one of the more daring suitors surrounding him. He swiftly returned to his pack and dragged out a bazooka, shrugging nonchalantly when Duo gave him a wide-eyed glance. 'Hey, always be prepared.' He returned to Duo's side, the bazooka in his hands, as he glared out from behind the drapes, determined to go to Heero's rescue.   
  
Near the door...  
  
One of the waiters nudged the other in the waist and nodded in the direction of the twitching drapes.   
  
'I'm telling you. There's something strange about those drapes. Every time I pass by with a tray, something always disappears. And I keep hearing strange muttering coming from inside.'  
  
His friend looked at the drapes and shook his head in resignation. 'Party crashers. It's like asking for them. I mean look at those drapes, they go all over the room and there are little hidden alcoves everywhere. Don't pay any attention to them. Just take the champagne around again.'  
  
On the floor...  
  
'You have beautiful eyes.'  
  
The Colonel gazed into Heero's eyes, as he inched his hands even further down his back.   
  
Heero lifted his lovely face and smiled sweetly, shuddering inwardly as he noted the gleam of lust in the handsome Colonel's eyes. He kept a firm distance between himself and the encroaching Colonel, using his superior strength to force the clutching arms into increasing the gap between their bodies and thought about Sally's orders to create a distraction. Then he deliberately stepped on the train of the dress, and fell into the Colonel's arms, swiftly tearing his dress at the shoulder and let out a loud scream.   
  
A sudden hush descended on the ballroom as Heero burst into tears, and slapped his astounded partner resoundingly on the cheek. Even as the Colonel stepped backwards stammering an apology, several of the men waiting to dance with Heero began to step forward muttering ominously. Heero silently debated on his options, wondering if running out of the room in tears would be overacting, and kept his face buried in his hands, focusing the attention on the torn sleeve, and the bare flesh of his arm underneath.   
  
Even as Sally started forward, hiding a triumphant grin, eager to help the apparently distraught woman, she was interrupted by a sudden explosion of a bazooka going off in the ballroom, smashing the crystal chandelier. As everyone screamed and started to run, she saw Quatre and Duo emerging from behind the drapes and swore furiously as they ran towards Heero, who took one look at them and wisely took to his heels. She decided that she would have their ears broiled for breakfast as soon as she managed to get out of the messy situation and fled through the nearest exit, wishing that her dress wasn't quite so long.   
  
Heero panted as he continued to run desperately in his painful heels, occasionally swatting any helpful hands that appeared near him. He was determined to get out of this alive, so that he could kill Duo and Quatre. He swore and kicked off one of his shoes as he half ran, half fell down the stairs of the building. As he rushed inside the waiting car, Sally already starting the engine, he failed to notice the tall handsome blue haired man who had picked up the slipper that he dropped.   
  
'What happened?' Wufei asked curiously, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he took in Heero's dishevelled state. 'Who did this to you? By Justice I will,'  
  
'Shut up!' Heero and Sally yelled out together, as the car turned around with a large squeal and sped away.   
  
Wufei looked a bit hurt, then, to the combined relief of Heero and Sally, both of whom shared a rather frantic expression, fell silent with a sulky frown. Heero patted his hair, noticing that the curls were stumbling wildly around his face, and finally noticed that one of his slippers was missing. He sighed as he pulled up the torn shoulder of his dress and dreamt about soaking his aching feet, not to mention body, into the hot bubble bath in his room at the Preventer Headquarters. He never liked Treize but he had to admit that the guy's fixation with bubble baths did come in handy now and then. He wriggled uncomfortably in his dress, not noticing the red flush in Wufei's cheeks as he stared at him from the backseat. However, Trowa noticed and he poked the pilot of Shenlong in the side with his elbow. 'That's my date.' He whispered to Wufei who glared at him.   
  
*****  
  
'This is all your fault.' Duo glared at Quatre from his cell.  
  
'My fault!' Quatre screeched and lunged at Duo, swearing furiously when he slammed heavily against the bars of his own cell. 'If you haven't started interfering in my relationship with Heero then I wouldn't have been placed on forced leave from the Preventers. And Heero would have been my date at the ball.'  
  
Duo jumped to his feet and gripped the bars of his cell, his eyes sparking with rage. 'It is too all your fault. You were the one who brought the bazooka and you were the one who fired at that pervert who was feeling Heero up! And now look at me. I'm in jail! And Une has threatened to throw me off the Preventers! Then I'll never see Heero again. Waaaaaah.' He began sobbing and threw himself on the bed in his cell.   
  
Quatre glared at the crying boy then picked up his tin cup and threw it at his head.  
  
'Ow!'  
  
Duo scrabbled for the tin cup and threw it back at the blond, cheering loudly when it hit the blond in the shoulder as he started to back away.   
  
'Take that! You evil miscreant. And stay away from Heero, you hear me!'  
  
Une reached forward and killed the sound on the monitor before swinging her chair back to face Sally who had been standing at attention in front of her desk.  
  
'I'm troubled, Commander, by the obvious instability being displayed by both Winner and Maxwell. And you say that this all started when last summer when Maxwell became addicted to watching daytime soaps?'  
  
Sally nodded grimly.   
  
Une glanced at the long report and grimaced as she started to read out some of the extracts from Maxwell's debriefing.  
  
Heero and I were meant to be together.  
  
She gave a pained glance to the pilot of Wing Zero whose only reaction was a brief twitch in his hands.  
  
I knew that Relena was evil and had to be stopped. She will not be allowed to stand in the way of our true love. I'll make sure of that.   
  
Une shook her head sadly, remembering the complaints from Ms Peacecraft about the harassing letters and calls from Maxwell. She wished that she had taken this more seriously back then.  
  
Quatre is nothing but a conniving bitch who's after Heero's body.  
  
She again glanced back at the silent Japanese who was curling his fingers as though he was practicing throttling someone and almost felt an unwilling pang of sympathy at what he must have endured.  
  
Duo is a jealous nut who has to be stopped. I know that Heero doesn't really love him.  
  
She raised incredulous eyes to Sally who winced and muttered, 'Apparently it's contagious. Winner seemed to have gotten infected a few weeks after Duo.'  
  
I can offer Heero a better life. I know that I can make him happy.  
  
She tsked under her breath as Heero started to grind his teeth. And to think that she had initially blamed all of this on him, she sighed with remorse and continued reading.  
  
I knew that Une couldn't be trusted, her evil twin has returned.  
  
Une blinked, her expression going blank as she checked the name of the person who had made the statement. 'Wufei?' She asked Sally, who bit her lips and nodded silently. 'When?'  
  
'About two months ago, we think. We aren't sure because well, we didn't notice a huge difference in his behaviour at first.'   
  
Une flipped to the next page, feeling a strong sense of unease as she read on.  
  
It was wonderful to know that Relena and her long lost brother have been reunited. And I know that if I'm patient, then I'll be able to find my long lost sister one day as well. And we'll be so happy at last.  
  
Une groaned as she looked at the name next to the statement, Trowa Barton. She looked at Heero who snorted softly as he folded his arms and waited for her to finish.  
  
'It looks like I owe you an apology, Heero Yuy.' She said at last, folding her hands in front of him. 'I had no idea that your fellow pilots have been so thoroughly contaminated by this addiction of theirs to daytime soaps. Apparently,' she tapped the accompanying report from the psychiatrists who had examined all four pilots, 'their perceptions of reality have been warped from their continuous exposure to the pathological and dysfunctional behaviour they had been observing. And now they interpret everything in accordance with what happens in these soaps. The infection started from Maxwell who has chosen to fixate on you as his romantic interest,' she paused to wait for Heero to stop choking, 'and has spread to the others who has also accepted you as the centre of their lives. Unfortunately, the doctors haven't been able to offer any suggestions of a cure, except that as long as we play along with their rules, the others should be able to continue functioning normally.'  
  
Heero stared at her with incredulous eyes as she passed the report from the psychiatrists to him.  
  
'So I suggest that you read up on these suggestions of how you should be behaving, so that you don't disturb the other pilots too much from their new perceptions of reality. According to the report, any attempt to convince them that they are behaving abnormally could induce a stress driven response that could lead to potentially dangerous actions on their part. And,' she added reluctantly, 'I'm afraid that I'm going to have to release Quatre and Duo. Into your custody.'   
  
He turned agonised eyes on Sally who looked away from him guiltily. She had shuddered when she had been given her own copy of the report with its suggestions on how she was to approach her role but orders, she squared her shoulders firmly, were orders.  
  
Une looked at Heero who hadn't moved from his seat and dismissed him politely with a nod.  
  
Heero went to the door and clutched the report with numb hands. 'This can't be happening to me.' He thought desperately as he walked to his quarters. He opened the report and started to read the suggestions.   
  
Sometime later...  
  
A long loud wail came from Heero's room and Duo turned to Quatre accusingly as they started running. 'What did you do?'  
  
'I didn't do anything. It's probably all your fault.' Quatre snapped as he dashed to the door and wrenched it open.  
  
Heero turned a sickly grin at the two peering in at him and fainted.  
  
tbc...  
  
Kat: I found the PERFECT picture of Heero and Trowa at a doujinshi site called 'Dusk and her Embrace'. Here's the site address:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/zillah/duskdoujinshi.html  
  
Be warned, the pictures are yaoi and some are graphic.   
  
The funny thing is, I wrote the story last year and had never seen the picture of Heero in a ball dress, accompanied by Trowa. The picture can be found by visiting the doujinshi picture of the Gundam boys wearing school girl uniforms, called 'Semi Sweet spell'. It's picture number 7. 


	3. Part III

Part III.  
  
Heero sighed heavily again, drawing the uneasy attention of the other OZ pilots sitting in the room who were becoming increasingly nervous as they waited for their turn in the interview. They sneaked glances at him and then at each other and squirmed in their chairs as they wondered if he knew something about Mariemaia that they didn't. Heero heaved another sigh, not noticing that the pilot sitting nearest to him was starting to twitch every time he sighed and then he got up, worked over to the mirror on the wall and stared glumly at his reflection, then returned to his seat.   
  
'Blue.' He thought mournfully to himself and sighed yet again. The pilot sitting across from him also started twitching.   
  
'I can't believe that Une made me dye my hair blue!' Heero sighed, the other two pilots twitched. 'A simple undercover assignment she says. A chance for me to get away from those soap addicted morons she promised.' He stared sadly at Quatre who was sitting on the other side of the room, and sighed dismally as the light blue haired bishonen beamed widely at him and wriggled his fingers at him in greeting. Heero drooped his head and sighed yet again, driving the pilots sitting near him crazy with the spreading tension. Heero wished bitterly that he had been listening more carefully when Une was explaining the details of the assignment before agreeing to take it. At the time, he had been so delighted by her offer to let him go undercover, away from his fellow Gundam pilots who were smothering him with their attention and their incessant quarrelling that he hadn't really noticed the reserve in her eyes as she carefully pointed out that the assignment was strictly on volunteer basis. He looked again at Quatre who was staring at him with starry eyes and a blissful smile curved permanently on his face and sighed again.   
  
*****  
  
[flashback sequence]   
  
'Look I already explained that you can't change your mind once you accepted the assignment Yuy.'  
  
Sally glared at the frantic pilot of Wing Zero and folded her arms across her breasts.   
  
'It's not my fault that you weren't paying attention when Une explained that you would have to change your appearance.'  
  
'Change my appearance, yes!' Heero screeched, driven out of his usual stoic calm by the recent changes in his friends' behaviour, 'but she didn't say anything about dying my hair blue! Why in the world do I have to dye my hair blue anyway? I thought that this was an infiltration assignment, to get accepted into the Oz Elite Pilot Program (OEPP). What has blue hair got to do with being a good pilot?' He slammed his hand on the desk belligerently.   
  
Sally stared pointedly at the hand until Heero moved it off her desk, then she softened her voice as she tried to calm the agitated Japanese.  
  
'You are right.' She started simply, 'But unfortunately Mariemaia, the new leader of Oz is a six year old girl and she happens to think that blue hair is really cool right now. So, she's insisted that one of the criteria for being accepted into the OEPP is that the pilot has blue hair.' Sally continued coolly as Heero's jaw slackened and his eyes widened. 'She has agreed to accept some colour variations like,' She looked at her notes, 'lilac, purple, and some shades of green,' she quizzed the notes again and shrugged, 'but doesn't specify the exact shades. So since we want you to get accepted, you go in with blue hair because she likes blue the best.'  
  
Heero looked at her with defeated eyes. 'Blue.' He muttered sullenly. 'Got it. Any particular shade?' He asked sarcastically as he got to his feet.   
  
'I suggest that you try for royal blue, Mariemaia likes bright colours.' Sally offered helpfully as she also got to her feet. She held the door open as Heero left and wisely ignored the nasty look he shot her as he left her office muttering 'royal blue', 'bright colours' and other indecipherable words under his breath. She took a deep breath before turning to the pilots sitting sulkily in front of her office.  
  
'Okay Quatre and Wufei, Lady Une has approved your applications to act as backup for Heero on this mission.' She held up a hand as two of four pilots jumped to their feet with an indignant look on their faces. 'I'm sorry Duo but unless you are willing to dye your hair,' she continued dryly as the American clutched his heavy braid protectively, 'it's simply out of the question for you to join the mission.'  
  
Duo wailed, 'but this is hair discrimination. I protest. We should sue Mariemaia! Do you have any idea what dying does to the condition of your hair cuticles? I can't risk it. Do you have any idea how long it took to grow my hair this long!' He shrieked and waved his chestnut braid in Sally's face.   
  
Sally started to rub the temples of her forehead, she reminded herself to take the painkillers next time before she talked to Maxwell. She twitched involuntarily as Trowa spoke up, 'Don't pay any attention to Maxwell and his obsession with his hair. What about me? I said that I would be willing to dye my hair.'  
  
Sally gritted her teeth as she prepared herself, 'Yes, you did,' she admitted grimly. Then taking a deep breath, she added gently, 'but when the lab tested your hair sample, they found that the styling mousse, gel and spray that you use to hold your fringe reacts adversely with the dye. Unless you are willing to forego the use of these products, instead of turning blue, you are going to end up bald.' She ended flatly, trying to ignore the muffled shrieks of laughter from the other pilots behind the shattered pilot of Heavyarms. She patted Trowa's arm consolingly as she said, 'I didn't think you'd want to risk going bald. That's why we couldn't accept you for this mission.'  
  
Trowa sat down numbly next to Duo who alternated between scowling at the gloating Quatre and sniggering whenever he looked at Trowa. 'Bald.' Trowa thought emptily and then shuddered as he thought of the alternative, of trying to deal with his fringe without the aid of his style mousse. To try to cope without the gel. Or the spray. His eyes welled over as he realized that he was going to have to let Heero go on this mission without him.   
  
Quatre smirked when Sally gave back the dyed hair sample to him and Wufei, and the Chinese pilot stared at his hair sample and then swore loudly. He examined the light blue hair in his hand smugly and sniggered softly as Wufei continued to shout at Sally, waving the tuft of dark sage green hair in his hands.   
  
'I bet that Wufei's not accepted into the OEPP.' Quatre whispered to Duo who started to giggle as he too stared at the green hair in Wufei's hands.   
  
[end flashback sequence]   
  
  
*****  
  
Mariemaia stared intently at the ten pilots who had been chosen to be the core group of the OEPP and beamed with satisfaction, and kicked her dangling feet happily as she waited to be introduced.  
  
The first pilot was a tall blue haired bishonen, who had on a blue headband to keep the fringe of his short hair out of his face. He snapped to attention as Grandpa Barton pointed to him and stepped forward smartly.  
  
'Rowen, of Gundam Strata.' (1)  
  
Mariemaia inclined her head proudly and smiled happily. She really liked him. He even had blue eyes! She turned her attention to the graceful girl who had stepped forward, her straight light blue hair fanning out behind her as she moved.   
  
Quatre stared jealously at the long, shimmering light blue hair of the female pilot who introduced herself as Umi, of Gundam Selece. (2) He glared at Heero who had been looking admiringly at the slender girl and decided that he was going to make sure that she stayed far, far away from Heero, one way or another.   
  
'Maximilian.' The gentle looking bishonen stepped forward with a shy smile on his face, pushing the soft strands of his blue hair away from his face. 'Gundam Valkyrie'. (3)   
  
Mariemaia hid her yawn behind her hand as one after another, the pilots introduced themselves and tried not to fidget in her chair. Until her attention was caught by the green haired pilot standing timidly in front of her. She sat up and blinked as she stared hard at the pretty boy with the mid waist length wavy hair.   
  
'Shun'. He offered apologetically to the little girl who stared at his hair with disapproval. 'Of Gundam Andromeda.' (4) Shun stepped back nervously as the pixie-faced girl nodded coldly to him. Shun prayed silently that Mariemaia wasn't going to insist that he dye his hair blue.   
  
She narrowed her eyes as yet another pilot came forward, this time with dark sage green hair that had been pulled away from his face and tied at the neck. She glared at the silent boy who stared back at her with inscrutable black eyes. Mariemaia pouted and pulled at the sleeve of the General standing at attention next to her chair. She whispered softly to him and scowled at his whispered answer, then she nodded at the pilot who had identified himself as Fei, of Gundam Ryu, to return to his position.   
  
When the last pilot in the line came forward, she jumped off her chair and walked towards the elfin girl with light blue hair that fell softly around her face and fascinated by her large red eyes and drawn by her ethereal, fragile beauty.   
  
'Rei.' The pilot offered in a muted voice. 'Of Gundam Evangelion.' (5)  
  
*****  
  
Duo stared sulkily at the screen as he and Trowa waited in their Gundams, wishing that he had been with Heero instead.   
  
Trowa stared at the heavy fringe in front of his eyes worriedly, was it him or did it seem that he had less hair today? Maybe he should cut back on the mousse a little, he decided uneasily as he continued to finger the stiff hair.  
  
*****  
  
'Heerooooo... uh... shi.' Quatre added hastily as the Japanese glared in his direction, 'Hiroshi!' He yelled again, as he skidded to a stop next to his friend, almost upsetting the overloaded tray in his arms. 'Let's sit together at lunch.' He beamed happily at Heero who rolled his eyes and marched off, as Quatre trotted hurriedly behind him.   
  
The two pilots sat down at an empty table, Quatre chattering cheerfully and Heero, silent as usual.   
  
Rowen looked at the two curiously, feeling that he had seen them somewhere before, particularly Heero. He found himself blushing involuntarily every time he looked at Heero's intense eyes and wondered why he felt his heart hammering wildly. He looked up with a smile as Max put down his tray beside him.   
  
'Look over there.' Max whispered as he indicated the table near the entrance with his head. 'The silent twins are at it again.'   
  
Rowen craned his head slightly, trying not to stare too obviously at the two girls sitting together and eating in complete silence, their eyes never leaving each other's eyes.  
  
'I'm telling you, they have to be a couple.' Max hissed excitedly as he bit into his sandwich. 'Otherwise, what's with the staring contest they do every lunch time?' He mumbled as he chewed.   
Rowen sighed regretfully. 'Maybe you're right. It's a shame though. We only have 3 female pilots in the OEPP as it is. I can't believe that they are interested in each other.'  
  
'Don't tell me that you were interested in one of them.' Max choked, his eyes widening with surprise as he stared from Rowen to the two girls. 'I thought that you had a thing for Hiroshi.'   
  
It was Rowen's turn to choke frantically. Max shrugged as Rowen glared at him helplessly with a purple face. 'Oh, come on. Everyone in OEPP thinks that. I thought you knew. Why do you think that Hiroshi's boyfriend hates your guts?'  
  
'Boyfriend?' Rowen blinked blankly.   
  
Max shook his head sadly, 'to think that I'm the one wearing glasses.' He sighed dramatically.   
  
Rowen twitched. 'Don't.' He shuddered. 'I don't ever want to hear anyone sighing again after the way Hiroshi kept sighing in the waiting room. I'm surprised that Suoh managed to restrain himself. Did you see the way he kept on twitching every time Hiroshi sighed? Do you think that maybe Hiroshi has a medical problem?'  
  
Max grinned. 'So you do care. Ow!' He yelped as Rowen kicked his feet under the table. 'Okay, okay. Sheesh. If you don't want to spread rumours that you have a thing for Hiroshi, stop blushing whenever you make eye contact with him.'  
  
Rowen looked over at Heero who looked puzzled when he blushed furiously and ducked his head.   
  
Max raised an eyebrow, 'I rest my case.'  
  
'It's not like that.' Rowen muttered, his face reddening with embarrassment. 'I like girls. No.' He added frantically, waving his hands as Max started to look towards the two female pilots again, 'not them. I don't like them.' He lowered his voice as Shun turned around with a curious look on his face from the table behind him. 'There's someone else. I met her... well...' he amended reluctantly, as he toyed with his salad. 'I saw her once.' He sighed and rested his face on his hand as his eyes turned dreamy. 'She was so beautiful. Just like a fairy princess.'   
  
Shun listened intently from his seat, not noticing the disapproving look on his table mates' faces as they continued to eat silently. Wufei debated silently on whether he should tell Shun that eavesdropping was not an honourable act. Suoh continued to eat serenely, determined to be resist being drawn in by the petty behaviour of the other pilots in the OEPP. He couldn't help wishing that he could have received his Gundam Shinobi without having to endure the company of such unworthy personages but sternly quelled his impulse to complain, reminding himself that duty must be accepted, completely and selflessly. He couldn't help twitching briefly as he heard yet another sigh from Hiroshi who was sitting two tables from them. He wondered if the pilot of Gundam Tenshi had a medical problem. Either that or a mental problem, he thought sourly as he dug his fork forcefully into the lasagne. Suoh continued to put away his lasagne as he reminded himself to pick up the additional set of earplugs that he had ordered yesterday from supplies.  
  
Max listened to Rowen with avid interest, as did Umi and Shun from their respective tables. Umi had joined Max and Rowen at their table when she had finally arrived in the lunch hall. She had given Rei's table a doubtful look when she had first come in, then encountering hostile gazes from Quatre and Wufei at their tables, had made her way to Max's.   
  
Rowen continued happily, his salad totally forgotten as he cast his mind back to the ball, one month ago. 'She has beautiful dark hair and dazzling blue eyes. I think I fell in love at first sight, when she floated down the stairs in her white dress.' He ignored Umi who made a face and muttered 'what is she, a balloon? How can she float?' Rowen's eyes were starry as he concluded, 'I knew that she was someone special when I picked up her slipper that night.' He sighed happily, remaining blissfully unaware of the loud clash that drew the attention of the other pilots as Heero dropped his glass from his nerveless fingers.   
  
Umi wrinkled her brow doubtfully as she stared at the blissful oblivion in Rowen's eyes. 'So... like... you've got her slipper.' She stated flatly. Rowen beamed as he nodded eagerly, not hearing the sudden choking at the table behind him as Shun and Suoh turned to Wufei in alarm. Umi ignored the noises coming behind her and continued, 'You don't know her name.' Rowen nodded obediently. 'You don't have her number.' Rowen nodded again, sagging his shoulders slightly. 'But you do have her slipper.' Umi concluded firmly, shaking her head sadly as Rowen nodded again and his expression brightened.   
  
Max gave Rowen a look of silent sympathy as he reached over to grasp his hand, 'that's so romantic. It's just like Cinderella.' He sighed happily.   
  
There was another clang as Suoh suddenly lost his grip on his fork. Max gave the table behind him a disapproving look. They were such noisy eaters, he tsked reprovingly.   
  
'And that's why I keep blushing when I see Hiroshi.' Rowen added shyly.  
  
Umi's eyes rounded with shock. 'Huh?' She managed. 'What has Hiroshi got to do with this dream girl?'  
  
'He... his eyes, for some reason, they remind me of the beautiful girl at the ball last month.' Rowen explained patiently. Then he glanced over at Heero's table worriedly as Quatre started to his feet angrily, only to be pulled down again by a pale looking Heero. 'I think Hiroshi's boyfriend doesn't like me looking at him.' He confided in Umi in a carrying whisper.   
  
Umi examined the two bishonens who had started to argue, with interest. 'I didn't know they were together.' She waved happily at Heero and Quatre who simply glared in her direction. 'I thought that it was Fei who liked Hiroshi.' She giggled softly as she looked over at the green haired boy at the other table. 'He got all touchy and irritable the other way when we were practicing our manoeuvres together. So I thought he was jealous but maybe,' she brightened and smiled at the scowling boy who was wondering why she kept on smirking at him, 'he was jealous. Not of Hiroshi, but of me.'   
  
At the far side of the little dining room, completely oblivious to the ruckus of the other pilots, Rei stared silently at her partner. No. 4. She couldn't believe that she was partnered with someone who had a number for a name. Still, she did concede that it was a little better than Hiroshi's partner, who had introduced himself simply as Q. A letter of the Alphabet! Come on. Rei continued to stare at No. 4, determined that she wasn't going to allow this strange girl to intimidate her. She wasn't sure why No. 4 always insisted to sitting at her table and staring at her but Rei had no intention of backing away from a challenge.   
  
No. 4 stared at the quiet girl in front of her and wondered why Rei was staring at her. She continued to stare into the beautiful red eyes, determined not to be the first one to break, even if she did end up with a killer migraine afterwards. No. 4 reminded herself to collect her painkillers after lunch as usual. She sighed heavily, unconsciously mimicking Rei who had sighed first. Both girls remained immobile as Suoh dropped his second fork with yet another loud clang.   
  
'Why do you think they're staring at each other like that?' Quatre asked Heero curiously as they left the dining room.  
  
Heero shrugged silently.   
  
*****  
  
'I miss Heero.' Duo muttered sulkily.  
  
Trowa ignored him, he was carefully reading a magazine article on how to take care of your hair so that it stays shiny and silky.  
  
'I even miss Wufei.' Duo added crossly as he kicked the lounge table.  
  
'I can't believe I'm not allowed to watch any more television during mission breaks.' Duo sulked, as he started to pace around the lounge table, occasionally kicking the table and casting longing glances at the silent television.   
  
Trowa continued to ignore him, he focused his attention on the part where the article was advising the use of natural products. Eggs. Milk. Hmmmm. He was pretty sure that the fridge was well stocked since they had gone shopping the prior week. Trowa fingered his fringe again, he was getting more and more certain that his hair was coming out, one strand at a time.  
  
Duo stomped around the room some more then finally admitted sadly. 'I think I miss Quatre too.' He glared at Trowa who was talking under his breath as he read the article intently and occasionally fingering his hair, then tossing his braid with a sudden grin he threw himself on the sofa next to Trowa and peeked over his shoulder. 'Let me read it as well. We can take care of our hair together.'  
  
Trowa silently pointed out the part that he was reading and shortly afterwards the two disappeared into the kitchen, then into the bathroom, holding lots of eggs and milk cartoons in their hands.  
  
*****  
  
'What do we do when we don't have assignments?'  
  
Shun shrugged and snuggled down in the common room sofa with his book. 'I don't know. Whatever we want I guess.'  
  
Quatre looked around the small common room and frowned as he took in the titles on the bookshelf. He brightened as he noticed the large screen television hanging on the side wall and grinned delightedly when he realized that it was cable. Quatre turned on the television and surfed the channels till he found the soap channel then made himself comfortable on the large sofa as he lost himself once more in daytime dramas.   
  
Wufei glared at Quatre and whispered, 'you know that Une forbade us from watching any more daytime soaps. Forever.'  
  
Quatre grinned back at him, 'Relax Fei. This is a part of our assignment. Remember? Besides which I'm dying to find out if Brooke will take Thorne away from Macy for good.'  
  
Wufei hesitated briefly, wrestling with his conscience, then as the opening sequence of 'The Bold and the Beautiful' flashed on screen, he found his eyes turning magnetically to what was happening.   
  
No. 4 walked into the common room and stopped as she took in the sight of Q and Fei sitting companionably together, their eyes glued to the television. She wondered what was happening that was so interesting and quietly took a seat behind them.   
  
Forty-five minutes later,  
  
Shun looked up from his book with a slight frown as the other three pilots in the room started to sob loudly. He walked over to them to complain and sat down indignantly to wait as they waved him away from the screen and into silence. He turned to the television and...  
  
*****  
  
'Okay Heero. I want to hear exactly what happened.' Sally turned to Quatre and Wufei who had started to open their mouths. 'As for you two. You are confined to headquarters until further notice and absolutely no more television.' She added grimly looking at Duo then at Trowa, whose hair still looked limp and lifeless. 'No more magazines either.'   
  
Heero shuddered as he remembered his frantic calls for assistance earlier. Sally had definitely not been amused at having to retrieve the three pilots from the OEPP base, or rather, he amended, what was left of the OEPP base.  
  
'This is all Quatre's fault' He started succinctly, ignoring the mournful green stare from Quatre who looked at him sadly, wounded by his betrayal. 'And Wufei as well.' He added, as Wufei flushed guiltily and hung his head. 'They started watching those stupid soaps again during our off time.' He paused as Duo and Trowa started screaming abuse at Quatre and Wufei and waited politely for Sally to scream at them to fall silent. 'And this time, they got the pilots on the OEPP addicted to those damn soaps and well,' he shrugged and heaved a dramatic sigh, 'after 3 weeks, the contagion had spread all over the base.'   
  
Sally groaned out loud, suddenly understanding how the OEPP base turned into a disaster area in a month.   
  
'It still doesn't explain how or why the base was blown up.' Une interrupted suddenly, 'or why you felt that you had to be extracted from a very promising undercover operation. We had never been successful in infiltrating OZ at the top echelon and this was our one chance. Why did you call for extraction Heero?'  
  
Heero started to sweat slightly as he avoided Une's keen gaze. He wondered whether he would be able to cover up exactly what had happened. Unfortunately, he had forgotten momentarily that he had not been alone on that mission.  
  
'It wasn't Heero's fault.' Quatre spoke up defensively and Heero cringed. 'His cover was blown and so was ours. We had to leave.'  
  
Lady Une narrowed her eyes as she looked at Heero, who refused to meet her eyes and then at Quatre who was glaring at her as he stood protectively near Heero, then finally at Wufei, who had gone red, and dropped his eyes.   
  
'Exactly how was your cover blown?' She asked calmly, 'Are you sure that it was impossible for you to continue the mission?' She ended with an ominous glare at the three pilots.  
  
Heero still stayed silent.  
  
Quatre bit his lips as he tried to think of reasons to justify their decision.  
  
Une turned to Wufei who continued to stare at his feet and prompted, her voice sharpened slightly with impatience. 'Well?'  
  
Wufei gulped nervously, then spurted out. 'One of the pilots, Ryu, remembered Heero from our last mission. The ball. And then he also remembered seeing me and Quatre there as well. If you remember, Quatre was firing his bazooka at the Oz officers at the time.' He concluded miserably. 'So Rowen ummm... guessed that we weren't really Oz pilots.'  
  
Une pursed her lips tightly. 'And how did he recognise Heero? Wasn't he dressed as a girl that time?' She demanded with flashing eyes.  
  
'Apparently, Rowen fell madly in love with Heero that night.' Wufei spoke shakily, avoiding Heero's accusing glare, 'So he kept the slipper that Heero had dropped when we fled the ball. He discovered that it was Heero when they went on the date and Heero lost his wig.' He concluded in haste.   
  
'Date!' Screeched Duo loudly.  
  
'Wig?' Sally queried looking puzzled.  
  
'It was Quatre's idea.'  
  
'That's right Fei. Blame me as usual.'  
  
'Well, it was.' Wufei muttered lamely, 'we thought that we should try to get the slipper away from Rowen and...'  
  
Une held up a hand, 'don't tell me.' She glared at Heero who wilted visibly, 'they talked you into dressing up as a girl again so that you could seduce this Rowen into giving back your slipper. I gather that during the date, somehow you lost your wig and Rowen recognised you.'  
  
Heero nodded numbly, hot tears pricking his eyes.   
  
'So what has this date to do with the base being blown up?' Une tapped the table with her pen impatiently.  
  
'Nothing at all.' Heero answered hastily. 'It just happened on the same day.'  
  
Une shook her head in silent resignation. 'I'm afraid to ask what happened. Do you know why and how the base exploded?'  
  
Heero, Quatre and Wufei looked at each other warily before nodding reluctantly.   
  
'Never mind the base! What happened on the date?'  
  
Everyone turned to Duo who blushed under the force of their combined frowns and sank back to his chair. 'It's important to me.' He whimpered disconsolately.  
  
Une stared firmly at Wufei, who began shaking.  
  
'It wasn't us.' He offered with a pleading glance at Heero who sighed heavily. 'And would you please stop sighing!' Wufei suddenly shrieked. 'I can't take it any more. I don't blame Suoh for going crazy.' He stopped and turned a weak grin at Une who was staring at them in blank astonishment. 'Heh. Sorry.' Wufei muttered.  
  
Heero sighed again. 'It was Suoh. The pilot of Gundam Shinobi. I'm pretty sure that he wasn't too stable to begin with.' He explained. 'And well... Maybe No. 4 had a little to do with it as well. Shun was kind of involved also.' He added cryptically.   
  
'No. 4?' Trowa broke in.  
  
'That's the name of the pilot.' Heero shrugged. 'Don't ask me. Maybe it's an alias like Q for Quatre.'  
  
'Q?' Duo shrieked as he burst out laughing, 'talk about original. That was your secret identity? So what about the others?'  
  
'Hiroshi and Fei.' Wufei offered absently before Heero could stop him.   
  
Duo burst out laughing again and rolled around the floor.   
  
Une pointed to Sally who picked up the pilot and shook him roughly before depositing him back on his chair, still giggling and chortling as he started to mutter to himself. 'What would I have been then? Solo? Nah too obvious. D? Worse than Q. Heh heh. What about Max? Nah, too boring...' She ignored the giggled pilot and turned back to the three still standing in front of her desk.   
  
'Why did this Suoh and,' Une looked dubious, 'No. 4 blow up the base?'  
  
'Oh it wasn't on purpose.' Quatre piped in. 'It just happened by accident while they were fighting in their Gundams, Shinobi and Psyche. It was a love fight.'   
  
Une looked at Heero who backed away shaking his head quickly in denial. 'Uh uh. Not me. I wasn't involved.' Then at Quatre who smiled beatifically at her, and despite her better judgement, she asked, 'So what was the fight about?'  
  
Quatre grinned. 'Well Suoh was in love with Rei, the pilot of Gundam Evangelion but he was too shy to tell her. So he asked Shun to pass a message to Rei. Except it turned out that Shun had been secretly in love with Rei as well so he changed it to make it look like it was to Fei.' He sniggered as Wufei blushed deeply. 'So when Fei-chan, instead of Rei-chan, got the note, he immediately went to Suoh and challenged him to a duel. Since Wufei didn't explain why he was challenging him to a duel, Suoh reahed his own conclusion that Fei was in love with Rei as well and he accepted.'  
  
'Excuse me.' Une interrupted sharply, not noticing that the others in the room, except for Heero who still looked very unhappy, were totally enthralled by Quatre's narrative. 'But what has all this to do with the base?'  
  
Quatre waved his hand, 'it's coming, believe me.' He rubbed his hands gleefully. 'So Suoh and Fei had a duel and ended up in sickbay together. Where Suoh finally learned that Fei had been given his letter to Rei and saw how the letter had been altered. Then he went to Shun and confronted him about the letter. He probably would have challenged him to a duel as well, only Shun broke down and confessed that he was also in love with Rei. Meanwhile No. 4 had fallen in love with Shun apparently and she was outside the sickbay listening to his confession to Suoh. She ran away from the Sickybay crying and into Umi and told her what was going on and then asked how she could get Shun to pay attention to her instead. Unfortunately at the same time, Suoh decided that the noble thing for him to do is to tell Rei how both he and Shun are in love with her and find out how she feels about them. When he did though, Rei just looked at him like he was crazy and told him and Shun to get lost.'  
  
Heero interrupted briefly. 'She's the only one who's immune apart from me.'  
  
Une blinked, as she suddenly realized that she was getting drawn in as well. But she was unable to stop herself from asking, 'so what happened after that.'  
  
Heero sighed mournfully as Quatre continued his tale, revelling in the attention that he was getting. He thought wistfully of the girl with the striking red eyes and wished that he had been able to stay with her to help her with the continuing madness.  
  
'So both Shun and Suoh decided to give up on Rei. At which point they then turned to each other for comfort.' Quatre continued excitedly, 'Umi had advised No. 4 to let Shun get over Rei first before telling him of her own feelings. The problem was that Umi was in love as well, with Rowen.' Quatre added thoughtfully, 'which none of us knew till the day when the base blew up. She knew that he had fallen in love with Heero.' He amended swiftly as Heero choked, 'that is the girl that he thought Heero was at the ball. What she didn't know was that we were plotting to get them together on a date so that Heero could sweet talk Rowen into giving back his slipper.' Quatre shook his head, 'you wouldn't believe how hard it was to get Heero to agree to going on the date with Rowen. Or the fuss he made over his wardrobe. To help out, Wufei also got dressed up as a girl.'  
  
All eyes turned as one to Wufei who went red.  
  
'Heero said that he wouldn't go alone this time.' Wufei protested faintly.  
  
'So,' Quatre added with a grin, 'they both got dressed up and went on a double date with Rowen and Max. You should have seen the grins on those guys' faces when they saw Heero and Wufei as girls.' He chuckled briefly. 'What we didn't know was that Umi was also following them. Basically, Umi totally lost it when she saw Rowen gushing all over Heero at the café and she attacked Heero and ended up ripping his wig off.' Quatre sniggered as he remembered the scene fondly. 'I started to dash over, when Umi turned around and ripped Wufei's wig off. You should have heard Wufei swearing! Rowen and Heero were just standing there, staring at each other until Rowen must have finally realized that Heero had been in drag at the ball as well and that was when he started shouting out 'spy', 'terrorist' and things like that. Wufei and I tried to silence him but it was a mistake because that only made him remember that we had been there as well. So, we gave up and ran for it. Once we were back at the base, we debated what we should do before Rowen, Max and Umi returned. Since Max fainted when Wufei lost his wig and had remained unconscious throughout the debacle, we figured that waking him up and filling him in would probably delay the others a little bit.'  
  
Une fought the urge to strangle the smiling boy as she added urgently. 'What about the base?'  
  
'The base.' Quatre added weakly. 'Well by the time we were back, there was a lot of noise, the alarms had gone off and there were 3 Gundams in the air. I grabbed hold of Rei who was the only one on the ground and asked her what happened. So according to her, when No. 4 had gone to console Shun after he had been rejected by Rei, she had found him in Suoh's arms and she snapped. No. 4 and Suoh started fighting barehanded at first but then they went to their Gundams, which was just before we returned to the base. Shun also went up in his Gundam to try to stop them. During their fight, Suho went berserk and Gundam Shinobi fired his beam rifle at Gundam Psyche who ducked out of the way of the beam, unfortunately totalling half the base that was behind her. At which point, Shun in Gundam Andromeda started screaming about how he was going to make sure that no one else was going to be hurt and fired his beam riftle at Gundam Shinobi who also got out of the way, leaving the rest of the base to wiped out in stead. By which time, we decided that it was probably not too safe to stay anywhere close them and especially not with Rowen and co. about to return, so we called in for extraction.'  
  
Une looked at Quatre in appalled fascination and said, 'it only took 3 weeks to effect those elite pilots? I mean I knew that you guys got addicted in about the same amount of time but I thought that you were naturally inclined... eh... disposed' she substituted, 'towards that sort of behaviour.'  
  
Quatre was staring at her with indignation. 'I don't know how you can compare the obsessive and pathological behaviour of the Oz pilots to us.'  
  
'Yeah.' Duo added, as Trowa and Wufei also nodded their silent agreement.   
  
'Uh... right.' Une laughed uneasily. She glanced at Heero who seemed to be breathing rather laboriously. 'Are you okay?' She asked quietly.  
  
Heero nodded, 'I'm just trying out some breathing exercises that Rei recommended. She said that it helped to keep her stay calm even when surrounded by totally irrational and overly emotional people.'  
  
Une nodded back automatically, thinking that it sounded like a good advice. She looked at Heero in pity as he started to breath even louder as Duo and Quatre grabbed his arms firmly and glared at each other. She didn't really believe that it would help him to adjust to his situation, she sighed heavily as the two pilots started to drag Heero out of her office, arguing all the while about where they were going to go. Wufei started to follow after them, grabbing Trowa's arm as he went, he trotted hastily after the other three, dragging the tall boy who started to play with his fringe again.   
  
Sally sighed as well as she closed the office door.  
  
'At least now Oz is having as much trouble as we are.' She said comfortingly.  
  
Une looked at her aide and started to giggle much to Sally's surprise. 'Oh, I'd say that they were having a lot more trouble than us. At least our mob hasn't tried blowing up our headquarters. Yet.' She amended as Sally gave her a doubtful look.   
  
'You know,' Une mused gently as she leaned into her chair, 'I think I almost feel sorry for Oz. Almost.' She finished with a wicked gleam in her eyes.   
  
*****  
  
'What do you mean we lost 3 pilots!' Mariemaia shrieked in fury.   
  
'We can't... ah... seem to find them. They may have been lost when the base was destroyed.'   
  
'But... but...' the little girl's face suddenly crumpled and she began to weep loudly, much to the discomfort of the surrounding Generals. 'I can't have only 7 pilots. 7 is just not a good number. It has to be 5 or 10!' Mariemaia wailed. 'All the best shows are the ones that use the sentai formula. I don't want only 7 pilots.'  
  
'Ehhh.... We.. we could always send away two of the pilots?' One of the Generals offered hesitantly carefully avoiding the eyes of his peers.   
  
'But I don't like having only 5 pilots.' Mariemaia pouted.  
  
'What about recruiting 3 more pilots?' Offered another General cunningly.  
  
Mariemaia brightened immediately. 'With blue hair?'  
  
'I'm sure that can be arranged.' Said the General, who was a little faster on the uptake than his colleagues, with a smooth smile, wondering if it was too late to think about investing in the hairdye industry.   
  
*****  
  
'Oh Hiroshi...' Rowen sighed mournfully, staring the delicate slipper in his hands. 'I wonder if I'll ever see you again.' He heaved another sigh.   
  
'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! For god's sake, stop that blasted sighing!'  
  
Rowen winced as a very belligerent pair of gold eyes blazed in his face. 'Sorry Suoh.' He muttered meekly before leaving to find a more private place to contemplate his loss, clutching the slipper in his hands.   
  
Big teardrops rolled out of Umi's eyes as she stared forlornly from the other side of the common room. 'Why doesn't he see that he can't trust that cross-dressing double timing rat?'  
  
Max paced around the room impatiently, wishing that the base doctors hadn't forbidden all the pilots to watch any more television. He sulked as he continued to stalk around the small room, wishing that Fei and Q hadn't left. They had been a lot of fun to talk to, and always had really good gossip. Not like the boring group he was stuck with now. For some reason, he found that his memory of the last day at the old base a little blurry and Max knew that Fei and Q would have been happy to tell all about what had really happened. To his disgust, Rowen, Suoh, who had been demoted by two ranks, and Umi, all seemed very reluctant to talk about that day, and about why Hiroshi, Fei and Q had disappeared so inexplicably.   
  
Shampoo (8) tossed her purple hair crossly, wishing that she had been assigned to the other team instead of Team Heart. Shampoo pouted as she looked at the little heart mark on her uniform. That was such a stupid name. The other team even had a better name! Though, she admitted, not by much. She glared at the team members that she was supposed to be working with and decided that the pilots on Team Angel couldn't possibly be this bad. She had been told that the others had caught a strange psychological ailment from overexposure to television and as a result they were not allowed to have a television at all. Shampoo went back to her magazine, at least she hadn't been banned from reading, and pored over the gossip column avidly. A little while later, Max wondered over to her side and offered to help her complete the questionnaire on 'how to tell if your lover is cheating on you'.   
  
*****   
  
Rei closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. She could still feel Shun staring at her from one side of the room and No. 4 staring first at Shun, then at her, then at Shun again. She told herself to relax and to breathe deeply, even as her skin continued to prickle from their combined attention. Rei began wondering whether she should have asked Hiroshi to take her with him when he ran away. At least then she wouldn't have been stuck in this stupid team with its stupid name and its stupid little angel logo that was stuck to her stupid new uniform. She told herself to relax as her breathing became more and more laboured.   
  
From across the room, the two new pilots huddled together and spoke softly, trying not to be noticed.   
  
'They give me the creeps.'  
  
Ayeka whispered softly to her friend Ryoko (9 and 10). Ryoko snorted loudly, then spoke hastily as three sets of eyes locked in their direction.   
  
'Can you believe that the stupid brat made me dye my hair? What was wrong with my hair colour anyway?  
  
'It wasn't blue.'  
  
'Neither is yours.'  
  
'Yes but mine's a very pretty purple colour and Mariemaia liked it.'  
  
'She has no taste.'  
  
The two lowered their voices again as the other pilots returned to their contemplation of each other.  
  
'Whew. That was close. I hate it when they do that.' Ryoko muttered, her face flushed with stress.  
  
'Don't raise your voice. Haven't heard how quiet their voices are? Not that they talk much anyway. It's so unnatural.' Ayeka whispered softly, holding up a magazine to cover her mouth. 'And they don't even let us play music. Rei said that it disturbs her natural harmonics, or something like that.'  
  
'Never mind about your silly music. I can't believe I'm not allowed to watch any television.' Ryoko growled sullenly, being careful to keep her voice as low as possible. 'The base commander kept on saying that we were going to rot our brains if we watch any television, do you believe that garbage?'  
  
Ayeka shrugged as she stared intently at the magazine in front of her. Ryoko craned her neck to try to peek over her shoulder. 'What are you reading?'  
  
'Mmm? This is an article on the one of the couples in a daytime soap.' Ayeka froze as two pairs of eyes suddenly turned in her direction. She felt her heart thudding in sudden panic as No. 4 and Shun walked over in her direction and asked if they could read the magazine after her. 'Oh sure.' She beamed, happy to have found a common interest area with 2 of the spooky pilots at last.   
  
Rei debated with herself silently as the four pilots of Team Angel started to chat together, sharing the magazine between them. Should she report this to the base commander or not? Rei hesitated then decided that just reading about the soaps couldn't possibly be too bad. She returned to her mediation happily, now that she was free from the distracting presence of No. 4 and Shun.   
  
*****  
  
'You know Fei?'  
  
'What Q?' Wufei yawned sleepily.  
  
'I kind of miss those guys back at OEPP. I heard that they are split into 2 groups now. Do you think that we'll ever run into them?' Quatre asked wistfully as he held out his secret stash of double chocolate fudge brownie to Wufei who accepted with alacrity.  
  
'Who knows.' Wufei answered as he munched on the brownie. 'I just hope that I don't ever see Max again. I thought I was going to die of humiliation when he saw the wig in Umi's hand and fainted.'  
  
Quatre giggled, 'I miss Max. He was so much fun.'  
  
'Bet you don't miss Rowen.' Wufei added slyly as he held out his hand for a second brownie. He munched thoughtfully as he continued, 'it was interesting that he didn't turn us in. I thought for sure that he'd have blabbed about Heero at least but he didn't.'  
  
Quatre glowered as he bit ferociously into his fourth brownie. 'I could have killed Umi when she grabbed Heero's wig. All that work, for nothing. I never liked her anyway. I'm sure she dyes her hair.'  
  
Wufei held out his hand for another brownie. 'So did you. And me. Actually we all must have. I mean who has blue, purple and green hair naturally?'  
  
*****  
  
'Are you sure this is going to work?' Trowa asked tentatively as he looked doubtfully at the bubbling, slimy mixture in the tub.  
  
'Trust me. When it comes to hair, I'm your man.' Duo stated confidently as he started to pull on the rubber gloves.  
  
'That's what you said when we tried the herbal shampoo that totally dried out my hair. It took 5 treatments before my hair recovered.' Trowa retorted as he started to edge away.  
  
'Hey. All geniuses have at least one failure. This time, I'm positive I got the right ingredients. Who knew that one little mistake in the herbs made such a difference? Come on Trowa.'   
  
'What about the time when you said that we should try using mudpacks and Sally almost killed us when we ruined the carpet getting that stuff to the bathroom?' Trowa shot back desperately as he was dragged to the stool.   
  
'I'm sure that the mudpacks would have worked if we could have tried them. It was a real pity that Sally stopped us before we could try it out first.' Duo whistled happily as he started to scoop up the glop in his gloved hands. 'Now then, hold your hair above the basin.'  
  
Trowa looked at the smelly green mess and shuddered, feeling very much like a sacrificial lamb, reluctantly offered his head to Duo who chortled gleefully before slopping it on.   
  
'I love playing with hair. Maybe I should have been a hairdresser! Heeeey, maybe that's what I'll do when we retire from being Gundam pilots!'   
  
Trowa burbled incoherently as Duo vigorously rubbed the green glop into his hair.   
  
*****  
  
Heero held the delicate silver slipper in his hand and studied it thoughtfully for a moment then with a shrug he threw it away in the waste bin.   
  
He adjusted the straps on his backpack firmly and looked back at the Preventer Headquarters. The only place that he had known as a home in the last few years. Then he turned away resolutely and started to walk away. After a while, he started to hum happily, and slightly off key.  
  
All he had to do now was to avoid Sanc Kingdom, don't go near any Oz bases, try not to be seen by any Gundams and above all never, ever watch any daytime soaps. Heero's hopes soared. No problem.   
  
*****  
  
The additional cast members were borrowed from the following animes (all personal favourites):   
  
(1) Yoroiden Samurai Troopers  
(2) Magic Knights Rayearth  
(3) Macross   
(4) Saint Seiya  
(5) Neon Genesis Evangelion  
(6) Clamp Campus Detectives  
(7) Zeta Gundam  
(8) Ranma ½  
(9 and 10) Tenchi Muyo  
  
Kat: Hope you liked the soap series. ^_^  
  
  
  



End file.
